The Right Professional
In Arizona, not knowing the difference between different types of mental health professionals, I had been seeing a psychologist. He suggested St. John’s Wart for my depression. This did absolutely nothing for me. He then referred me to the doctor across the hall. I met with the new doctor, a psychiatrist, and he immediately put me in the hospital. Seeing the right type of professional makes all the difference in the world.
I found a good psychiatrist in California who diagnosed me as Bi-polar with Anxiety and changed my meds to help me cope. That would finally explain the emotional roller coaster I had been riding since Junior High. If I had only known then, I wouldn’t have had to suffer so long.
The Diagnosis
For 25 years I had suffered with depression and mood swings, not really understanding what it was or how to deal with it. Now that I knew I was bipolar, and cycled fast through my moods, I was better equipped to work with it.
For those of you unfamiliar with bipolar, the Mayo Clinic website explains, “Bipolar disorder, formerly called manic depression, is a mental health condition that causes extreme mood swings that include emotional highs (mania or hypomania) and lows (depression).” https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/bipolar-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20355955
What this means is I can become depressed with feelings of sadness or hopelessness. I don’t want to do anything or be around other people. I often sleep for 12 or more hours at a time. Then my mood can shift, suddenly, and I feel exhilarated, full of energy and want to go and do lots of social activities. I would even sleep only a few hours at a time.
While the average person experiencing bipolar mood swings may have episodes rarely to multiple times a year, my cycle could occur over days or sometimes even hours. It truly felt like riding a roller coaster.
Finding the Right Concoction
The field of medicine is called practicing. That means there is a lot of trial and error in finding the medication that works best for everyone. This leads to some good choices of medication and some awful ones. Psych meds must build up in your system before they can become effective. When trying a new medication, I would be put on the lowest dose for about a week. If there were no side effects, the doctor would increase the dose for a couple of weeks to see if it was effective. If he didn’t see the desired result, he’d increase the dose again until I was at the highest dose of that medication. If it still didn’t work, I had to slowly go off that med before I could start the next one. This process would usually take 6-8 weeks just for one medication. Sometimes the most effective treatment is a concoction of medications.
Gratitude
I was grateful that I could go through this trial and error of medications when I didn’t have to hold down a job. My Outlaws were so kind and thoughtful during this time. I was grateful to have found a good psychiatrist who recognized my symptoms and helped me find relief. I was grateful to my family who were extremely patient with me. Having a good support system is important when dealing with mental illness.