The Girl
A good friend of mine introduced me to my wife, Tamara. At first, we just hung out together and with other friends. We became best friends but never dated. It took 6 months of prodding from my friend to finally get us together. He invited us to go dancing, where we had our first kiss, and that was it! We were engaged two weeks later.
My parents didn’t want to let me go so they forced us into having a long engagement. Also, I found out later from my friend that they tried to get him to break us up. He, of course, said “No way! It took me 6 months to get them together.”
The Shoebox
The wedding went well, and I moved in with A GIRL for the first time. This brought on extra stressors in my life. Our apartment was shoebox sized with a one bum kitchen, not even room for a tiny kitchen table. Did you know that girls think differently than boys? Even though I grew up with two sisters and a mom, this was totally different. Now we had to make decisions together and blend our philosophies together. Also, I discovered that Tamara puts the toilet paper on the roll backwards!
The Roller Coaster Ride X2
Tamara and I got along well, until we didn’t. When we disagreed, we each withdrew and went into our own corners to brew and stew. I learned later that Tamara wanted to be cuddled and talked to. I probably wanted the same but didn’t know how to ask. I also went into my own corner because I was afraid of what kind of monster might come out. As a child I never felt like I had a say or could express my feelings, so I buried them. I had a long fuse, but when the bomb finally went off, walls and doors were dented, or people’s ears suffered a barrage. This happened far and few between, which meant I had to suffer as I exerted so much effort stuffing those feelings down.
Under Pressure
At this time, I was working my first full-time grown-up job working at a bank. I felt the pressure of providing for two people for the first time. Tamara was not bringing in any income as she was going to school full-time during the day, while I went to school after work. This didn’t give me any time to exercise, and I didn’t have a pool or motorbike anymore. All these factors put me on an emotional rollercoaster, and I gave way to drinking on and off again. The fact that I was hiding the drinking, put even more stress on me.
Hugs!! You have such a descriptive way of writing. Thank you for sharing when stuffing things down seems easier!
Thank you for your comments. Yes sharing makes it a bit easier.
I look forward to hearing more (if you are up for writing more of course)
I think this is an underlying fear of mine… having a spouse who drinks or has addictions- and hiding it from me is also a scary thought. I think it’s scary because deep in our hearts we all want to be loved and taken care of- and what if addiction pulls them away from me?
Thank you. Yes, addictions are hard. Having a great support group makes all the difference in the world.