In a Fog
The move brought another change. We did not want to put our kids back into the school district where we lived, so my wife started homeschooling them. Our son had some behavior challenges and fought being homeschooled, which made the stress level in our home a little high.
Work was steady and stable. I was just coasting through life because my meds were keeping me numb. My weight was continuing to go up because of the meds. I would get up, go to work, come home, eat dinner in front of the TV, and go to bed. Then get up the next day and do it again. I was had to do a lot of pretending to be happy at work and fake my way through everyday emotions. On weekends I would sleep until 2 or 3 in the afternoon and then watch TV and go back to bed. In order to keep me from the lows of depression, the doctors were removing the highs. The meds took away my emotions. It was as if I was not experiencing any joy in life.
The next four years just seemed to slide by in a haze. Even my memories of this time are foggy.